I was even more of an emotional wreck in the first week of December 2017.
December 5th is Rob's birthday and I decided to make 3 batches of cinnamon rolls from scratch for his requested game night party. I got so stressed out with the first batch because my yeast wasn't activating and the house looked like a disaster! I texted Rob and told him I wanted to throw the dough out the window and cancel his party! I remember frantically sweeping while sobbing hysterically. Then when I pulled myself together, I started crying because I yelled at Rob on his birthday!
The next day I felt like crying because I hated the red and white lights on our house. They were too bright red and didn't match my maroon wreath ribbons. I couldn't believe how upset I was getting over the smallest things! I assumed it was PMS or maybe even some Clomid left in my system because that's exactly what it felt like!
That night I couldn't sleep. My body and mind were so restlessly excited despite my negative feelings. It felt like the night before Christmas, except with positive pregnancy tests dancing above my head instead of sugar plums. After all, my mom said she had a feeling I was pregnant last time she saw me and she is often freakishly right when she has these feelings!
.
That morning I tested.
I didn't want to watch the test fade from pink to white, revealing the answer to the question that kept me up all night. Rob watched it while I squinted and watched his face droop into that familiar frown.
"Nope.", he said sadly.
"Nope.", he said sadly.
I sulked for a minute and then looked at it myself.
I swore I saw a ghost of a second line. Rob didn't believe me until he started to see it too!
I swore I saw a ghost of a second line. Rob didn't believe me until he started to see it too!
Those 3 minutes were such an emotional roller coaster. I felt so excited but SO afraid to be so!
It didn't feel official since I knew I would have to do a blood test too, and it looked just like the faintly positive tests I had before my 2 miscarriages.
.
But STILL, that day I saw that second little faint line, and despite what I knew could happen for the third time, I fell in love all over again.
That night was the first snow of the year. It was the perfect ending to the day.
